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| Nikah in Islam: Love, Consent, and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ |
Part 1
Nikah in Islam: Love, Consent, and Purpose
Introduction: The Divine Design of Human Union
Marriage in Islam, or Nikah, is not a social invention — it is a divinely ordained institution. Allah ﷻ describes it as one of His āyāt (signs), linking it to the cosmic harmony of creation. It is through Nikah that love, lineage, mercy, and stability are established — not only for individuals but for society as a whole.
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for people who reflect.”
— Surah Ar-Rum (30:21)
This verse captures the three spiritual purposes of marriage: sakinah (tranquility), mawaddah (love), and rahmah (mercy). Each of these words reflects a stage of emotional and spiritual depth that Allah builds between two believers who unite under His name.
1. The Meaning of Nikah in Qur’an and Arabic Tradition
In classical Arabic, the word نِكَاح (Nikāḥ) literally means “union” or “joining.” In Qur’anic usage, it refers to the lawful and solemn contract that binds two individuals in a partnership recognized by Allah. It is both a ‘aqd (contract) and a ‘ibadah (act of worship).
The Qur’an repeatedly uses the verb ankihū (marry) to encourage believers to establish families based on faith and chastity:
وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ
“And marry off those among you who are single, and the righteous among your male and female servants. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty.”
— Surah An-Nur (24:32)
Here Allah directly commands the community to facilitate marriage — proving that Nikah is not only permissible but a recommended act of faith. The Prophet ﷺ further emphasized:
“Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me.”
— (Sunan Ibn Majah 1846, Sahih)
Thus, marriage in Islam is a way to complete one’s faith and live a balanced, emotionally fulfilled, and morally guarded life.
2. The Purpose of Marriage: Sakinah, Mawaddah, and Rahmah
a. Sakinah – Tranquility of the Soul
Allah uses the word سَكِينَة (sakinah) to describe the emotional calmness found in a blessed marriage. This term comes from the same root as sukūn (peace, stillness). Just as night brings peace after the noise of day, a righteous spouse brings serenity to the heart. The Qur’an likens spouses to garments — intimate protectors of each other:
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ
“They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them.”
— Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187)
This analogy illustrates closeness, mutual protection, and modesty — garments conceal flaws and bring comfort, just as a believing partner should cover their spouse’s weaknesses and support them emotionally and spiritually.
b. Mawaddah – Loving Affection
The second purpose, مَوَدَّة (mawaddah), is deeper than simple love (ḥubb). It implies tender affection that is shown through action — kindness, care, and sacrifice. True love in Islam is not selfish or fleeting; it is grounded in the desire to seek Allah’s pleasure together.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was the best example of this. His deep affection for Khadijah (RA) — his first wife — continued even after her passing. He would send gifts to her friends and mention her with reverence, showing that spiritual love is eternal.
c. Rahmah – Compassion and Mercy
رَحْمَة (rahmah) is the crown of marital love — a reflection of the divine attribute of Ar-Rahman. It’s the ability to forgive, to care when one’s partner is weak, and to love not only for beauty or youth but for the soul’s companionship in faith.
🌿 Remember:
Islamic marriage is not a worldly contract but a spiritual partnership — designed to cultivate inner peace, mutual affection, and divine mercy. It mirrors the harmony between the Creator and His creation.
3. Love and Consent: The Qur’anic Ethic of Willing Hearts
The Qur’an honors the human heart and forbids coercion in matters of marriage. The verse below came to abolish the pre-Islamic practice of forcing women into marriage or inheritance without consent:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا
“O you who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:19)
This is one of the earliest divine declarations of women’s autonomy in choosing a spouse. Consent became a sacred condition of Nikah, confirmed by the Prophet ﷺ himself:
“A virgin’s consent must be sought regarding herself, and her silence indicates consent.”
— (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136, Muslim 1419)
Therefore, love and free choice are not innovations but authentic Islamic principles. Islam validates emotional compatibility as a legitimate basis for marriage, as long as it remains within the bounds of modesty and Shariah.
4. Marriage as ‘Mithaq Ghaliz’ – The Strong Covenant
Allah describes Nikah not as a casual agreement, but as a “mithaq ghaliz” (solemn covenant) — a phrase also used for the covenant of Prophets. This indicates the sacred weight and responsibility of marital vows.
وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا
“And they (your wives) have taken from you a solemn covenant.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:21)
This means marriage is built upon trust, dignity, and respect — not compulsion or deceit. It’s a promise before Allah to protect each other’s honor and to live in faith and peace.
5. The Prophet ﷺ and the Model of Loving Marriage
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught through his own life that love, respect, and emotional care are integral to faith. He mended his own clothes, helped his wives at home, and was gentle even in disagreements. His marriage to Khadijah (RA) was built upon mutual admiration, faith, and trust.
He ﷺ said:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
— (Sunan Ibn Majah 1977, Sahih)
This statement revolutionized human relationships — teaching that love and kindness within marriage are acts of worship.
Part 2
Conditions of a Valid Nikah in Islam: Consent, Wali, Witnesses, and Mahr
The Legal and Spiritual Structure of Nikah
In the previous part, we explored the spiritual essence of marriage — love, mercy, and tranquility as divine gifts. Now, we focus on the legal framework of Nikah: the visible pillars that make it valid in the eyes of Allah and the community. These conditions ensure justice, transparency, and mutual respect, preventing abuse or coercion in what is meant to be a sacred covenant.
The Qur’an and Sunnah lay down four primary requirements for a valid Nikah:
- Mutual consent of both spouses
- Presence of a wali (guardian) for the bride
- Two witnesses of integrity
- A defined mahr (bridal gift)
1. Consent (الرضا): The Foundation of Marriage
Islam places immense emphasis on personal will. No one can be forced into a marriage — not by parents, not by guardians, not by societal pressure. Consent is the spirit of Nikah. Without it, the entire contract collapses.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا
“O you who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:19)
This verse came to abolish the pre-Islamic custom of forcing women into unwanted unions. The Prophet ﷺ then reaffirmed this principle through his teachings:
“A woman who has been previously married has more right to her person than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be sought; her silence indicates consent.”
— (Sahih Muslim 1419)
From this, scholars derived that both verbal and silent approval (in the case of a shy virgin) constitute valid consent — but objection nullifies the marriage. Islam values dignity and emotional willingness over mere cultural formality.
🌿 Remember:
In Islam, love and consent are not modern imports — they are Qur’anic foundations. A Nikah without genuine agreement is invalid and unjust, no matter who arranges it.
2. The Wali (الوليّ): Guardian, Not Dictator
The wali — typically the father or nearest male relative — plays a crucial role in protecting the rights of the woman, ensuring that the marriage is suitable and in her best interest. However, the wali’s role is one of guidance, not control.
“There is no marriage except with a wali.”
— (Sunan Abu Dawood 2085, graded Sahih by al-Albani)
Imam al-Shafi‘i, Ahmad, and Malik held this hadith as proof that a wali’s presence is mandatory. However, the Hanafi school allows a mature, sane woman to marry without her wali if she chooses a suitable partner — illustrating Islam’s flexibility according to circumstances.
Yet, if the wali unjustly refuses a righteous proposal — due to worldly pride, wealth, or tribe — the Prophet ﷺ warned against it:
“If a man of good religion and character proposes to you, marry your daughter to him. If you refuse, there will be great fitnah and corruption upon the earth.”
— (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1084, Hasan)
Hence, the wali’s duty is to protect the woman’s dignity, not to suppress her choice. A wali who blocks a good suitor for un-Islamic reasons becomes sinful, and the Islamic judge (qāḍī) can act as the substitute wali.
3. Witnesses (الشهود): Safeguarding the Sanctity of Nikah
Marriage in Islam is a public covenant, not a secret affair. To prevent injustice, exploitation, or denial, witnesses are required to testify that the marriage was performed properly.
“No marriage is valid without a wali and two trustworthy witnesses.”
— (Sunan al-Bayhaqi 7/111; Ibn Hibban 4075)
These witnesses must be two adult, sane Muslims of integrity (‘adl). Their presence transforms Nikah from a private promise into a recognized social contract — ensuring legal proof and community acknowledgment.
Secret marriages (nikah al-sirr) — conducted without witnesses or announcement — are discouraged and invalid according to the majority of scholars, as they contradict the Prophet’s guidance:
“Announce this marriage and perform it in the mosque, and beat the duff (drum) for it.”
— (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1089)
Thus, transparency is a pillar of barakah (divine blessing) in marriage.
4. Mahr (المَهر): A Gift of Honor, Not a Price
The mahr — often mistranslated as “dowry” — is not a purchase price for the bride. It is a symbol of respect and commitment that the groom gives to his wife. The Qur’an commands it clearly:
وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا
“And give the women [upon marriage] their bridal gifts graciously. But if they willingly give up part of it to you, then consume it in satisfaction and ease.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:4)
In this verse, Allah uses the word niḥlah — meaning a “free, generous gift.” It highlights that mahr should come from the heart, not as a burden or transaction. The Prophet ﷺ demonstrated this balance by marrying off companions for simple mahrs:
He ﷺ said to a man who had nothing to offer: “Do you know any part of the Qur’an?” The man said, “Yes.” He ﷺ replied, “I marry her to you with what you know of the Qur’an.”
— (Sahih al-Bukhari 5141)
Extravagant demands contradict the Sunnah. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best marriage is that which is easiest in cost.”
— (Musnad Ahmad 24529; Ibn Hibban)
The simplicity of mahr opens doors to purity and prevents the spread of zina (fornication) by making marriage accessible to all believers.
🌿 Remember:
Mahr is an expression of love, not a measure of wealth. The more sincere the intention, the greater the blessing — regardless of material amount.
5. What Invalidates a Nikah
The Qur’an and Sunnah warn against practices that invalidate or corrupt a marriage. A Nikah becomes batil (void) or fasid (defective) under the following conditions:
- Lack of consent from either partner
- No witnesses present
- No wali (in schools that require it)
- Temporary or conditional marriage contracts
- Marriage to those permanently forbidden (mahram relations)
- Marriages done secretly or in exchange for favors (without mahr)
Such unions are rejected by the Shariah because they violate the sacred balance between divine law and human dignity.
Part 3
Forced Marriage (Nikah al-Ijbar) in Islam: Qur’anic Ruling and the Story of Khansa bint Khidam (RA)
Islam’s Justice Against Coercion
One of the greatest misconceptions about Islam is that it allows forced marriage — but in truth, the Qur’an and Sunnah strongly prohibit it. The Prophet ﷺ personally intervened in several cases where women were married against their will, and he annulled those marriages immediately.
Islam’s message is clear: Nikah without consent is invalid. Love and willingness are essential, because marriage in Islam is not an economic transaction — it is a covenant of hearts under Allah’s Name.
لَا إِكْرَاهَ فِي الدِّينِ ۖ قَد تَّبَيَّنَ الرُّشْدُ مِنَ الْغَيِّ
“There is no compulsion in religion; truth stands clear from falsehood.”
— Surah Al-Baqarah (2:256)
If even faith itself cannot be forced, how could the sacred bond of marriage — one of the most personal decisions in life — ever be coerced? Let’s examine how the Qur’an and the Prophet ﷺ handled this matter.
1. The Qur’an’s Stance Against Forced Marriage
Forced marriage was a common pre-Islamic custom in Arabia. Women were treated as property, often inherited or married off without their will. The Qur’an abolished this injustice completely:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا
“O you who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:19)
This verse was revealed to protect women’s free choice. The key word karhan (كَرْهًا) means “against their consent.” It means a marriage done under emotional, social, or physical pressure is haram (forbidden) and void.
Furthermore, Allah ﷻ describes marriage as a relationship based on love and mutual agreement, not compulsion:
وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا
“And they (your wives) have taken from you a solemn covenant.”
— Surah An-Nisa (4:21)
The term mithaq ghaliz (solemn covenant) shows that a Nikah without willingness is a violation of divine trust — not a legitimate marriage.
🌿 Remember:
The Qur’an establishes consent as a fundamental condition of Nikah. A forced marriage is not a valid Islamic marriage but an act of oppression condemned by Allah.
2. The Prophetic Judgment: Story of Khansa bint Khidam (RA)
The most famous and authentic example is the case of Khansa bint Khidam al-Ansariyyah (RA), a noble companion of the Prophet ﷺ. Her father married her off against her will to a wealthy man, while she wanted to marry someone else. When she came to the Prophet ﷺ, he immediately annulled the marriage.
“Khansa bint Khidam reported that her father married her against her will, and she was a previously married woman. So the Prophet ﷺ invalidated that marriage.”
— (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5138)
This hadith is a cornerstone of Islamic law regarding forced marriages. The Prophet ﷺ sided completely with the woman’s autonomy, not her father’s authority. Scholars of all four Sunni schools use this narration to establish that no Nikah is valid without the bride’s free consent.
Another Similar Case:
In another narration, a virgin girl was married without her consent, so she approached the Prophet ﷺ. He gave her the choice to annul the marriage.
“A girl came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: My father married me against my will. The Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice (to accept or reject the marriage).”
— (Musnad Ahmad 2469; Abu Dawood 2096; Ibn Majah 1873)
These examples clearly show that marriage in Islam is not valid by force — even if performed by the guardian. The Prophet ﷺ’s decision was not cultural, but judicial — establishing a legal precedent.
3. Understanding the Concept of “Ijbar” (Compulsion)
The term Ijbar (الإجبار) in fiqh means “to compel or force.” Some scholars historically allowed limited *wali ijbar* (compulsion by guardian) in specific cases — but only when the girl is immature and unable to judge what is good for her. Even then, the Prophet ﷺ’s practice shows that the default rule is consent.
Imam Ibn Qudāmah (RA) wrote in al-Mughni (vol. 7):
“The Prophet ﷺ annulled marriages conducted without the woman’s consent. This is proof that no one may compel a woman to marry, whether she is a virgin or not.”
Imam al-Nawawi (RA) also stated in Sharh Sahih Muslim:
“The hadith of Khansa is decisive evidence that the father cannot force his daughter into a marriage she dislikes.”
Hence, the so-called “forced marriage” is not from Islam but from culture — and is invalid before Allah.
4. The Prophet ﷺ’s Approach to Women’s Rights in Marriage
The Prophet ﷺ not only prohibited coercion but empowered women to speak up. He gave them the right to choose, reject, and seek annulment (khul‘) if they were unhappy.
He ﷺ said:
“The virgin should not be married until her permission is sought, and the previously married woman should not be married until her command is given.”
— (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136, Muslim 1419)
This shows that even a young woman’s silence is taken as approval only when her environment is safe and respectful — never under fear or family pressure. Islam is a faith of mercy, not fear.
🌿Remember:
The Prophet ﷺ restored women’s freedom of choice in marriage 1,400 years ago — a right many societies are still fighting for today. Forced marriages are un-Islamic, unjust, and invalid.
5. The Legal and Ethical Verdict
According to the consensus (ijma‘) of the scholars, a forced marriage is invalid unless the woman later gives her genuine approval. The Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the Prophet’s judgments all affirm this.
In Islamic law:
- If a woman is married without consent, the Nikah is voidable.
- She has the right to demand annulment (فسخ النكاح).
- If she approves later voluntarily, it becomes valid (tasreeh).
The principle is clear: “Consent before contract” — not after coercion.
Part 4
Love Before Marriage in Islam: Halal or Not? Boundaries, Intentions, and Sunnah
When the Heart Feels Before the Nikah
Love is one of the most powerful human emotions. It can bring people closer to Allah — or lead them away from Him — depending on how it is expressed. In an age where relationships are easily formed and broken, Islam offers a balanced and dignified path: to let the heart love, but to love *for the sake of Allah*, and through *the path of Nikah*.
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy.”
— Surah Ar-Rum (30:21)
This verse affirms that love is from Allah. It is not haram to feel affection — but what matters is the direction of that feeling. Islam distinguishes between natural love (which arises in the heart) and forbidden actions (which cross the moral line).
1. Love as a Natural Emotion: Not a Sin in Itself
Islam does not condemn love; it recognizes it as part of human nature. What Islam regulates is the *expression* of that love. As Ibn al-Qayyim (RA) said in Rawdat al-Muhibbin:
“Love itself is not forbidden, for it is a feeling that the heart cannot always control. What is forbidden is following the desire that leads to sin.”
Feelings of attraction are not sinful — unless they lead to haram acts such as secret dating, physical contact, or emotional intimacy outside lawful bounds.
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity; that is purer for them.”
— Surah An-Nur (24:30)
Allah does not forbid love; He forbids *lust that blinds faith*. Thus, it is permissible to like or even love someone — as long as one’s actions remain modest and the intention is toward marriage.
🌿 Remember:
Love becomes sin only when it crosses into disobedience. A believer loves with purity, restrains with patience, and acts with the intention of Nikah.
2. The Prophet ﷺ’s Guidance on Proposals and Seeing the Prospective Spouse
Islam allows a man and woman to meet or see each other for the purpose of marriage, under modest conditions. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged it:
“The Prophet ﷺ said to Mughirah ibn Shu‘bah when he proposed to a woman: ‘Look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.’”
— (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1087, Hasan)
This hadith shows that emotional compatibility and attraction are recognized in Islam. A man may look at the woman he intends to marry, and speak respectfully to her, with family awareness and no secrecy. The same applies to the woman.
In another narration:
“When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so.”
— (Sunan Abu Dawood 2082)
The aim is to build a *foundation of understanding* before Nikah — not emotional indulgence. Thus, love before marriage is permissible when guided by respect and the intention of Nikah.
3. The Boundaries of Communication Before Marriage
Islam does not encourage unnecessary communication between non-mahram men and women, as the heart is sensitive and easily influenced. Yet it allows necessary, respectful conversation for the purpose of marriage.
Allah commands believers to speak in a dignified manner:
فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا
“Do not speak in a soft or seductive tone, lest he in whose heart is a disease be moved with desire; but speak with appropriate speech.”
— Surah Al-Ahzab (33:32)
This verse, though revealed for the wives of the Prophet ﷺ, lays the ethical foundation for all interaction between men and women: respectful, limited, and purposeful. Communication for marriage discussion — under family or wali supervision — is permissible and encouraged.
4. The Islamic Way to Proceed When Two People Love Each Other
When two believers develop affection and wish to marry, Islam provides a clean and honorable path. The Prophet ﷺ did not condemn such love — he directed it toward Nikah.
Consider the case of a Companion named Julaibib (RA), a poor man of humble appearance whom the Prophet ﷺ helped to marry a woman who admired his faith and character. Their union became an example of sincerity and spiritual love.
“If you love someone, approach them lawfully — through their guardian, with intention of marriage, and in obedience to Allah.”
This balance protects hearts and honors feelings, transforming them into worship. Islam doesn’t kill love — it purifies it through lawful means.
🌿 Remember:
When love is sincere, it seeks Nikah — not secrecy. The path of the Prophet ﷺ turns emotion into worship, affection into mercy, and longing into eternal companionship.
5. Love Stories Among the Sahabah: Lessons from the Righteous
In early Islam, several companions married those they admired or loved for their piety and character. For example:
- Ali ibn Abi Talib (RA) proposed to Fatimah (RA) after admiring her faith and modesty — not beauty or wealth. The Prophet ﷺ approved, saying their union was “a marriage of light with light.”
- Jabir ibn Abdullah (RA) married a widow out of compassion, not lust, showing that love can also be mercy and care.
- Abu Talhah (RA) accepted Islam to marry Umm Sulaym (RA), who refused him until he embraced faith — showing that love guided by faith leads to blessings.
These examples show that love is not condemned — it is celebrated when it aligns with taqwa (piety) and intention.
Part 5
The Ideal Nikah Based on Love, Faith, and Modesty
When Two Hearts Become One in Faith
After understanding the purpose of Nikah, the conditions of validity, the prohibition of compulsion, and the guidance on love before marriage — we now arrive at the essence: what makes a Nikah truly ideal and blessed?
An ideal Nikah is not about wealth, beauty, or status. It is about faith, character, sincerity, and modesty. It is the union of two souls who help each other walk toward Allah — not away from Him. The Qur’an calls this union one of His greatest signs:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy.”
— Surah Ar-Rum (30:21)
This verse is not merely poetic — it’s divine psychology. It defines the purpose of marriage as sakinah (peace), mawaddah (love), and rahmah (mercy). The perfect marriage is one that nurtures all three.
1. Choosing the Right Partner: Faith Over Beauty and Wealth
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave timeless advice about how to choose a spouse — not through worldly standards, but through spiritual criteria. He said:
“A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the one with religion, may your hands be dusty (may you prosper).”
— (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090, Sahih Muslim 1466)
This principle applies equally to both men and women. True beauty fades; faith and character endure. The best partner is not one who pleases your eyes, but one who leads your soul to Jannah.
Imam al-Ghazali (RA) explained that compatibility in deen (faith) ensures peace in the home, while disparity in faith invites spiritual conflict. Thus, an ideal Nikah begins with a shared vision of righteousness.
2. Modesty and Simplicity: The Sunnah of Blessed Marriages
Islam encourages modesty in everything — even in celebration. The most blessed marriages are those with the least burden and the most sincerity.
“The best marriage is that which is easiest in cost.”
— (Musnad Ahmad 24529, Ibn Hibban)
Excessive demands in mahr (dowry), lavish weddings, and showing off are against the Prophetic way. The marriage of Fatimah (RA) and Ali (RA) — the daughter and cousin of the Prophet ﷺ — was simple yet filled with divine barakah. Their home contained little furniture, but much love and faith.
وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا ۚ إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِينَ
“Do not be extravagant; indeed, Allah does not love those who are extravagant.”
— Surah Al-A‘raf (7:31)
Therefore, a true Sunnah Nikah values contentment over consumption. Simplicity is not poverty — it is purity of intention.
3. Building Love After Nikah: The Art of Emotional Sunnah
While love can exist before marriage, Islam’s beauty is that it teaches how to grow love after Nikah. The Prophet ﷺ taught that affection must be expressed, nurtured, and protected.
“When a man loves his wife, he should tell her, for words of affection never leave a woman’s heart.”
— (Musnad Ahmad 15925)
The Prophet ﷺ expressed his love for his wives often, and he ﷺ was tender, patient, and playful. He would race with Aishah (RA), eat from the same spot on the dish, and address her with gentle words. This shows that **romance is Sunnah when it’s respectful and sincere.**
Real love grows from acts of mercy — helping in chores, forgiving mistakes, and praying together. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
— (Sunan Ibn Majah 1977, Sahih)
🌿 Remember:
In Islam, love after Nikah is not an accident — it is an act of worship. Every smile, every kind word, every act of care between spouses adds to their scales on the Day of Judgment.
4. Spiritual Harmony: Marriage as a Journey to Jannah
Marriage in Islam is not only emotional companionship — it’s spiritual partnership. Spouses help each other remain steadfast in faith, guard chastity, and raise righteous generations. Allah says:
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ ۚ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ
“The believing men and women are protectors and helpers of one another. They enjoin good and forbid evil.”
— Surah At-Tawbah (9:71)
An ideal marriage is one where both spouses remind each other of prayer, Qur’an, and humility — not competition and pride. When they make du‘ā together, their home becomes a piece of Jannah on earth.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“May Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up at night to pray and wakes his wife; and may Allah have mercy on a woman who wakes her husband to pray.”
— (Sunan Abu Dawood 1308)
5. The Ingredients of a Lasting Marriage
Scholars and psychologists alike agree that lasting marriages are built on five virtues — all deeply rooted in the Sunnah:
- Taqwa (God-consciousness): Fear Allah in how you treat your spouse.
- Sabir (Patience): Understand that no one is perfect; love beyond flaws.
- Shukr (Gratitude): Appreciate small acts; say “Alhamdulillah” for each other.
- Husn al-Dhann (Good thinking): Avoid suspicion and mistrust.
- Tawakkul (Reliance on Allah): Seek divine help in every stage of marriage.
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (RA) wrote beautifully: “When hearts are united upon Allah, they will never be divided by the world.”
رَبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا
“My Lord, increase me in knowledge.”
(Qur’an 20:114)
اَللّٰهُمَّ أَرِنَا الْحَقَّ حَقًّا وَارْزُقْنَا اتِّبَاعَهُ،
وَأَرِنَا الْبَاطِلَ بَاطِلًا وَارْزُقْنَا اجْتِنَابَهُ،
وَلَا تَجْعَلْهُ مُلْتَبِسًا عَلَيْنَا فَنَضِلَّ
“O Allah, show us the truth as truth and grant us the ability to follow it. Show us falsehood as falsehood and grant us the ability to avoid it. Do not make it unclear to us, lest we go astray.”
اللّٰهُمَّ اجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ كَمَا أَمَرْتَ،
وَكَمَا صَلَّى نَبِيُّنَا مُحَمَّدٌ ﷺ
وَارْزُقْنَا الْخُشُوعَ وَالْإِخْلَاصَ فِي الْعِبَادَةِ.
🌸 Jazakumullahu Khayran for reading.
🌙 May peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللّٰهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
✍️ Written By:
Rizwan Ibn Ali Abdullah
Student of Islam and Science | Researcher | Thinker | Against Sectarianism | Reviving Ummah | Qur'an and Sunnah
© 2019– Rizwan Ibn Ali Abdullah. All Rights Reserved.
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